When we moved into my dream house in Steamboat it was just 2 weeks before Christmas. We did not care, we were doing it up right. We decorated it all, even won second place in the outside house lighting that is judged for all of the houses around town. My daughters were 2 and 5 and I was in charge of getting the tree up. Well, In my family of origin, my dad was the one who put up the tree and the lights. So I did not really have a lot of practice with it as I usually made my husband, Jim, do it too, then I decorate. But, he was busy so I figured I would get it done.
I put on 5 strings of lights all hooked together and turn it on… The middle row was out. Dammit!! So,I take them off up to that point and make sure they are working this time and re-string them… Another row out!! No way… Okay this time I just carefully remove the broken string and get another in there. Now none will come on. OH MY GOSH!!! By this time I am in a rampage… totally irritated and on a rant… I am going on and on about how I will NEVER have another tree that I need to put lights on again! I will not do it!!
That is when I hear a small voice across the room saying tearfully “Mom says we are not having Christmas again”. The poor kid. I had traumatized her my 5 year old, Morgan. I realized we needed to sit down and talk. I used the opportunity to tell Morgan and little Alexa about the reason for Christmas, and that no matter if we have a tree or presents or any of that stuff, that there will indeed be Christmas. Because it is Jesus birthday. It is not about the other stuff. So tree or no, yes… there would be Christmas, always.
By this point I had calmed down and we finished the decorations, but it had turned this lighting disaster into a great memory. I now own a pre-lit tree which is simple to turn on, i merely plug it in, and if it breaks, I buy a new one.
When i moved to Oregon several years ago, I spent my first Summer outings going to pick all sorts of berries. There are kinds I have never even heard of. I am from Colorado, in the mountains, and we had a slim supply of berries there, and when they were available they cost a bundle. Here is it amazing. They are so inexpensive when you pick your own. So my freezer was filled with lots of berries for several years.
One particular outing that was really memorable was the first time my family went to see the waterfalls in the area and had a picnic. I brought a bunch of berries along for us to snack on and as we sat and ate, i looked around at the green lush area with not a bug other than butterflies in sit and thought… I have just died and gone to berry heaven. I loved it here from that point forward.
I was also reminded of other great experiences picking apples outside Saint Louis, Missouri. I picked a ton one year before we left there and made a bunch of apple sauce. Goodness it was wonderful.
Now that I have my new knees I really look forward to going out this year to gather all sorts of the area treasures. It seems that here everything grows. I cannot wait. I also will be going out to hike a bunch more too, building up those muscles and trying to shake off that last 8 pounds i need to.
Well, off to eat some dinner… Hope all are having a great weekend.
Well, it is finally Friday. Having been a little off all week with my illness I am happy to have a day tomorrow to just rest and do laundry. I look forward to having nothing more to do.
Dinner out with family last night was lovely. I ate too much and suffered for it. It is hard to get all healthy then want to blow it occasionally. It is really not worth it!
Finding comfort in the knowledge that I am thought of… I like it.
This Thursday started out better than the last few days. I am finally feeling better, the cold is dissipating and I think I may live. I did however have to take my daughter in for her round of antibiotics too. The whole family got hit.
I did not get to see our couples therapist today and find it is an off day without the regular meeting. I so look forward to it. I am such a fan of dissecting things. I asked my personal therapist, yes we do see too many, if I might ever just be happy without having to look so deeply into everything. She laughed and said probably not. It seemed to her that I have far to active a mind to not question and push. She then told me not to look so disappointed as it really was a good thing to want to question, to grow and to become more. I suppose that is the truth, but sometimes it is exhausting.
I hope the day progresses well. This week has started looking up. Tonight out with a sister-in-law for dinner at a new place downtown. The whole family will come, even Morgan. Looking forward to it!
Life today seems somehow better and more complete than it has in awhile. I feel more at peace. I am recovering slowly from my cold. Thank God for the gift of medicine. But in the midst of being sick see how much I need and desire care. I want to be noticed and made to feel like I am not alone in my times of suffering, no matter how small they may seem. I am a needy thing and I love knowing I am cared for. I wonder if that is so bad, but feel like it is not.
Tonight after a full day at work and then a lovely church service, which focused on the persecuted church, I will go to bed and rest. I am starting a new book, the last in a series that was good, although not worth passing on. Just a way to relax. I want to get started on my writing and speaking course. But am too tired right now. It will come.
So for now a good night to all and lovely dreams…
I love the words to this song. It resonates with me. Life does not have to be easy. It is not easy. Today there seems to be a pill or a quick fix for all that ails us. But sometimes the tears bring the healing and growth that will make us into the person we are meant to be. I hope so…
Okay I have officially succumbed to being ill… I am sad and I hate being sick. I am really sad today. It has been a hard one, I feel like grief is ruling.