I finished reading the book I have been working on last night when I should have been sleeping. I laid in bed and sobbed. As I sat up to dry my tears I awoke My husband, he was wondering what was up. I said oh you know me, just crying over the ending of another book as I often do. It is sometimes a loss of the fantasy, the world that I have found to escape into, but sometimes it is a deep feeling of connection. Of being touched deeply. The last couple I have read have done that for me.
I feel sad about so many illnesses and deaths in my midst. Another man died last night and his wife will be alone. Missing him for the rest of her days. It is painful stuff to see, much less live. I cannot even think to imagine her pain. I listen and care for her, for the many that have been there in the last few months.
Tomorrow i am going to go and add on to the tattoo I have. I will post a photo when I am finished. I need to do things that I want. I am tired of wondering and worrying what others may think and allowing these thoughts to control me. Life is to short to live like that. I want to spend the rest of my time here, no matter how long or short being the fullest me I can be. Accomplishing and striving to accomplish…
Another day and the sense of loss is difficult to bear. Sometimes things are just hard. Hard and unfair. Life is not fair, but it seems that it should be.
Well so far being 51 has its upside. I have had so many nice birthday wishes! Had people stop in just to say hello at work, and my best girlfriend popped in too. It was great, I even got a lovely little tiny cake. I love miniatures. :) Then off to dinner with two other girlfriends. We had a blast and they made me wear a ridiculous hat knowing how much of a spot light hog I can be. I got birthday well wishes from the whole place I think. Too funny.
Life is good!!
Well tomorrow I am officially one year deeper into my 50’s. Do not know yet how I feel about that, but am glad I have recovered some of my health. That makes the birthday not feel too bad. More like an accomplishment.
I went to an appointment earlier and had to wait over an hour. Sat with my phone and read the novel I am working on. A love story filled with angst, not a lot of sex, bummer, and a just out of reach true love, I have no idea where this one is going, but it is certainly holds my interest. Soul mates seem to be the theme for many of my reads lately. It is a concept that escapes most or fills them with doubt, but I am a believer. I think that is why these type of stories capture me. Ahhh such a romantic.
I am also only 9 pounds from my goal weight. Starting to eat a bit more as I am in no big rush, and it is the season of birthdays and celebrations. I want to keep the good habits I have been implementing in my diet though. More of the fruit and veggies and less of the quick go to snacks that are just empty fillers. It is a lifestyle and not one to be lived perfectly, just another aspect of living healthier. I do love ice cream though, lol.
I am off to be hoping to sleep better than last night. Lots going on and so many thoughts spinning through my head at 4am. I almost got up to just get ready for work. I probably should have, but finally fell back to sleep. Sometimes slowing down my thoughts is a task.
Off to bed, waking up to another day, another birthday. Here’s to the beginning of a big year, filled with all the things that make life worth living.
Wow! what a day this is already starting off to be. I am ready to blow a gasket, could there be more to do with more interruptions? Well, yes, I suppose there could. But, it is bad enough as it is.
Today is my husbands birthday. Had a lovely dinner out last night. It included a pianist and bass combo and us alone in the restaurant. Kind of sweet. The conversation that followed with the musicians was really great. What more can you ask for? Good food, good conversation and in a wonderful atmosphere. Very nice.
Here’s to getting some things accomplished.