Sometimes in the midst of a happy life you realize you may not be as happy as you thought you were. You may be going along day by day and it finally strikes you that things are not what they seem. That for much of your day you have been living in falsehood. It doesn’t mean that everything is a lie, or that it all is awful, it may just mean that you have become someone you do not know or like as much as you once did.
It may take the shape of a face that you put on every day to wear in public, but is not really who you are meant to be. The one that laughs at the right things, answers questions politely and does not really have a strong opinion about much of anything, because it may cause problems. Eventually the face becomes more and more you, until you lose yourself completely in the deception. You wonder why life seems more flat, but you cannot put your finger on it. You think everything is fine, perfect even, then you hear yourself saying it too many times and you realize it is not true, things are not perfect.
The realization may come with relief, the relief that you can make it different, change back into the person that you once were. Or, it may come with a sense of fear, because you think that now it is too late to make it any better. Your life has had too many twists and turns, and there are too many corners to find your way back to who you are.
So where do you go from here, from this place of in-between? You go anywhere you want. You do not go back, but move forward. Move in a direction to find out who you will be, who you want to be and work toward that new goal. The twisted path that got you where you are was full of purpose and lessons and things that can mold and shape you into a person of greater worth. It is time to let her out, let her explore. To allow her to find a new path and see where it leads…