I changed my blog theme. I found as I look around at other sites, those that are too busy seem totally unreadable. But beyond that, I saw a simplicity in the themes that had less going on, a kind of flow that leads your eyes down the page wanting to read more.
I find this is the way with so many things. keeping it real, simple and easy to follow. When I can live like this it seems to be the time when I am most content. When I can flow and live in the moment, in what is going on right now. It is hard not to get ahead of myself. Hard not to place all sorts of expectations on myself. I have wanted to do something with my life, as if so far I have done nothing. Just thinking of this at this moment it makes me smile. I have done so much. But is there more? Perhaps, but it is a path, a journey and I can take only one step at a time and do it with purpose and intent.
I was meeting with my therapist the other day. While I recover from my second total knee replacement in a year, I was bemoaning the fact that I want to be so much more. That I may never get to the place where I wish to be. That it seems I have no way to get there. He looked at me and asked me if I could be a world renowned speaker today. (A tiny dream right?) And I said to him, now? Like today? As he nods, it struck me, no, today that was not who I am. So out loud I said “No, not today.” What an amazing weight lifted from my shoulders. I cannot be that today, does that mean that I can never be that? NO! But I can be fulfilled right where I am, not lose the dream continue on the path, but not judge myself for where I am.
Today I think i will sew. I can do that today. That much I can accomplish in the midst of this latest recovery. I will not ask much more of myself.