Beginning Again

I have returned from the speaker’s training I attended. I am tired and glad to be home, but I was filled with so many wonderful new thoughts and ideas while I was away. I want so many things in this life I have been gifted with. I want to have the opportunity to pass on the wonderful lessons my Lord has allowed me to experience. I also want to help others be able to learn from my hardships so perhaps, just perhaps, they will not need to go through the same trials themselves.

I have felt for many years that I was led to speak and open up my heart in a public way. But it has not seemed to be the right time. I have been busy with the needs of my children and also supporting my husband as he was starting his pastoral ministry. It was the right thing to do and I love being a wife and mother, but as my girls become more self-sufficient, I feel ready to begin to do more, more for me, more for those outside of my home and also more for God.

I was afraid of beginning. I did not really know how to start the process. So, off to the speaker’s training conference I went. It was amazing. It gave me tools to bring together my experiences and how to deliver the words so I can give others hope too. Now I need to find the audience. 🙂

As I went through the week I could see how much my fear has held me back. Fear that I had nothing to really say. Fear that if I did get up to say things no one would be interested, or that I would look silly, or sound funny or a myriad of other things that run through your head as you get ready to do something nerve wracking for the first time. But, I got up to do my first speech in my small group, and it was not bad. I know, right?! I sound so surprised, but it was surprising to me. People were engaged and they listened. I really wasn’t sure if I had it in me. I thought I did, I thought and have thought for some time that God was leading me to tell my story, but it is still fearful. Well, now the fear will be easier to overcome. It will be easier to move forward. I am grateful for this experience.

As I write this, my mind whirls with the unseen possibilities. I look forward to them, I look forward to open doors. So, if you need a speaker at your next event… give me a yell.
m.

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